Kids texting blows up my phone
dear Amy: I have a 12-year-old daughter who belongs to a youth group at church. When she joined, the leaders asked her for her cell phone number so they could contact her about the activities.
Our daughter does not have a cell phone because we think she is too young. The leaders then added my mobile number (without my permission).
They send a few text messages every week, which end up with 15-20 replies because the girls use it to comment, talk, joke, etc. – completely off topic.
Every time this happens I ask the leaders to remove my number, which they do, and then a few weeks later I’m back on their list and getting the group texts again.
I complained and asked them to stop adding me, but their most recent response was that this is how they communicate, and they’re worried my daughter is missing out.
Their activities are weekly and always take place at the same time.
My daughter hasn’t missed it yet, and I’m frustrated to see my cell phone explode every time they start a new channel.
How can I get these leaders to show a common courtesy text without removing my daughter from a group of friends she wants to be with?
What is an appropriate text in these situations?
– Fed up
Dear fed up: Since this is how they inform the group of meetings, it seems prudent that you receive text messages from the youth workers. You may want to give your daughter your phone for a while so she can participate in these conversations – or at least to confirm that she got the message.
(I personally would also have a (limited) interest in what those kids were talking about – but I take it for granted that you don’t.)
You have many options. You could “block” the original phone number and you won’t receive any calls or texts from that number.
It’s very easy to completely disable notifications (texts will arrive, but your phone won’t ring or vibrate); you can also “mute” texts from a specific phone number.
You can also receive the first text, take the information, then “leave the conversation” by clicking on this option.
The ways to perform these functions vary depending on the type of phone you are using. Use an internet search to see how to reset notifications on your specific phone.
dear Amy: My wife and I were invited to my youngest brother’s wedding.
Due to a big age difference between us, we were never close.
There’s no animosity or problems, we’re just borderline strangers (I don’t even have his phone number).
If we refuse the invitation, my father will be extremely upset.
To avoid this, my wife and I decided to attend the ceremony and leave before the reception.
My question is: how do you RSVP in this situation?
We don’t attend the reception and I don’t want them wasting money buying us dinner that we won’t be there to eat.
It may even open up a few more spaces at the reception for friends the couple knows better.
– Big brother
Dear Elder: You state that you are not close to this brother, but only because of the age difference between you. And now that family member has invited you to celebrate a milestone in their life.
The way to get close — or closer — is to show up for him, get to know his wife and family, and meet their friends.
However, you don’t seem to want to do all of that, so you should answer, “My wife and I will be at the ceremony, but unfortunately we’ll have to leave before the reception.” We hope you have a great time and wish you all the best for a wonderful celebration.
dear Amy: “From the Heartland” wondered how to respond to his rude friends.
Due to chronic illness I am underweight at 5ft 3in and 100lbs.
Several years ago, I was with my sister-in-law in a restaurant. She ordered her lunch and I ordered soup.
The waiter commented, “Of course, skinny-mini will only have soup.” To this day, I regret not having spoken with his supervisor.
– Donna in Colorado
Dear Donna: I hope your response will be posted on employee bulletin boards: It is never appropriate to comment on a person’s body.
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.